for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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