if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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