i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize