I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
