I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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