i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
