The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
