There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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