sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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