based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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