My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
we should paint friendship bongs
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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