true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
