apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
