I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
