you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
