Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
