It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
