did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
