I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
