dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
