Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
