you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
