I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
