you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
