I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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