He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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