I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
