Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
