Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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