Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
