I am in a vortex of obligation.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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