Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
