why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
FUCK WHALES
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
