I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
and she was petting her beer can
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dicks are not precious.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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