The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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