conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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