i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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