Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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