I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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