Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
