I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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