She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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