; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
