I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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