Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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