I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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