so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
