So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
