You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
