let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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