I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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