I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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