did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
