I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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