what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
