can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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