Got a toothbrush?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
