This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
