This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
