I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
