My room smells like vodka and shame
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
