and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
