I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
