Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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