did you get engaged???
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
