areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
