I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
