she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
