dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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