So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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