I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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