am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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