when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
