hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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