so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
