I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize
