There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
