She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
